It's Chinese New Year again...

I remembered spending last year's CNY at Bedok, almost couldn't make it back to Elias, but Tristan changed it all. I hope its a good thing... who knows...?

This year's CNY feels almost no mood at all, i wonder if i'm the only one feeling this way... or maybe Motherhood made me feel this way as i am no longer a kid anymore??? BUT luckily, i get to watch a new year movie with darling and mommy on Wed, which we did as in all the past years. And that really made my new year feel better.


~TODAY~
Today, i actually felt lonely today.
Nobody is home today except me and Tristan. I haven't felt this way in a long time. Although Tristan is bawling out for me to carry him, still i felt lonely... Sometimes i secretly wonder if i'll quit everything and... oo0OO

Appear 1/30/2009 11:32:00 PM

My darling set up this blog for me long time ago but i have been too lazy, too busy to update it. All of a sudden, i feel today is a good time to update it.

Today is my birthday... but i feel super lousy. Its definitely not about my age... unless my hormones are wearing me down and i don't know it.

I am getting more frustrated these days. 1st of all, Tristan is rejecting the bottle, which leaves breastfeeding as the only option for his meals. Now i understand how the cows feel... Then i miss my freedom, to go out, to have some quality time on my own... The more i think about it, the angrier i get. I seem to be the only one missing the freedom, sometimes i even missed going to work. i am not blaming Tristan, i just feel very helpless, very angry with the situation i am in. I wished i have more help, i really can't cope.

They say mothers are very noble, i totally agree. Its really no easy feat bringing up a child. Nope i am not even halfway there compared to those noble mothers, i pity my kid as he has a mom who can't give him her everything, who wished that she can run away sometimes.

Appear 1/05/2009 10:34:00 PM